Our garden has a whistlepig plague. These cute creatures, otherwise known as groundhogs, are eating our sprouting bean plants, and the war is on.
Lulu the English mastiff, strictly banned due to the size of her footprints in the lettuce row, is now very much Persona Grata, after she dropped a mass of groundhog fur at Jeff's feet. And Jeff, that pacifist hippie biodynamic farmer, launched an anti-groundhog tirade, complete with wardance and demonstrations of his slamdunk pitchfork lance-throw--"I just pinned that sucker". (Note to self: Do NOT threaten Jeff's vegetable patch.)
Even EricTheFarmer, striding up the driveway, is now armed with George Wests 1908 Remington.
But the word went out to the neighbors for the ultimate weapon, and DiAnne's HavaHart trap is now in place, baited with canteloupe, which research indicates is the ultimate groundhog comeon.
The groundhog war is now all about relocation of enemy forces. We will hold our territory against all odds.
Yr frontline correspondent